...And The Yarn Harlot Came To Kansas

I have a confession to make...I had no idea The Yarn Harlot was so fabulous. I'm TOTALLY a fan now. You see, despite the musings and gushing of my knitter posse, I hadn't bothered to read any of Stephanie's books or her blog. EVER! I know. I know. What's wrong with me, right? *hangs head* I have A. D. D. d@mmit. You can't expect me to READ too much! I mean *eyeroll* *gah* *ehem*

So, in a show of solidarity, curiosity and adventure, I joined Teri, Amber, Brandi (Amber's good friend) and the little girl, Johanna on a trip down to Wichita, Kansas to meet the Yarn Harlot. This is starting to sound like the Wizard of OZ, right? Who's Dorothy and where's Toto? Hmmm....

Our morning started out pretty mundane, breakfast at McDonald's, chit chat, drive, knit, potty break, drive some more, knit some more and then...POOF! WICHITA! YEAH! I must commend Teri on her driving! Thank you so much for driving us! She made AMAZING time, even with potty breaks.

First stop, Watermark Bookstore & Cafe' to pick up the tickets. Very quaint, I must say. Next, YARN SHOP! You see Johanna had phoned up the owner (Shelley) of the newest, cutest, hippest yarn shop in Wichita aptly named "Twist" to inquire if she'd open her shop on Sunday, so we could check out her digs and very wisely Shelley obliged.

Shelley, Proprietor of Twist

After parking, rolling out of the van and halfway across the street, I realize I had forgotten my camera and went back to retrieve it. This must have been when Johanna stuck! While I was back at the van, she stealthfully made a B line for the Hiya Hiya DPN and snagged the LAST TWO SETS OF US1 in the ENTIRE states of KANSAS AND MISSOURI! Of course, while all this was happening, I was outside taking photos. Then upon, entering the store, Johanna looks me square in the eye and proclaims, "LOOK! I got the last two sets of Hiya Hiyas for me and Christine!"

Christine had dibs on a set since she emailed and asked someone to grab a set for her therefore she is exempt from my wrath. About a millisecond after hearing her proclamation of victory, I felt my Chickasaw starting to unfurl. I was rapidly escalating. She had made eye contact with "The Predator" and she wanted HIYA HIYA, d@mmit! Unbeknownst to the knitter public and the rest of the posse I was escalating. Many maniacal thoughts raced around in my head like furies. I needed to be diverted to take my mind off the fact that what I want is in the possession of the ir·re·sist·ibly cute and animated, Johanna. *grumble* *curse* *fists balling* *eyes squinting* MUST RESIST MAULING HER! *argh* D@MN YOU LITTLE GIRL!, I growled. Sensing something was awry, Teri quickly jumped into action directing my attention to some soft, sparkly yarn across the way. *grrrr* The little girl continued to innocently hover innocuously taunting me with those d@mn needles. At one point, she even offered to give both sets to me to which I declined. She had won again. *hangs head* My reasoning for why she's still alive... It's like the Lion King where I'm the new Lion King Simba and Johanna is Timon. Only I'm grown and sexy and she's cute, lovable and entertaining, therefore I allow her to live for my amusement. So saith I, so shall it be. *ehem*

Alright, I'm over it now. So, now I bumble about snapping photos of the shop and its patrons.

Behold the shop!




Here is the bodaciously exotic and lovely, Amber Proprietor and Mistress of Misknits.

Here's my knitter posse: Teri, Brandi, Me, Amber, Johanna

Here's PlazaJen of Ravelry

then it was time to shop!

After shopping, the lot of us packed up and hauled down the street to lunch at McAllister's Deli before the show began. On the way to lunch, Johanna was gushing about her birthday Shibui sock yarn and that prompted me to think of a song (the one that Peter Griffin sang in the "Patriot Games" episode of "Family Guy") that kept playing over and over and over and over in my head. I mentioned this little tidbit of information to the girls and Johanna chimed that it was "Shipoopi" from the Music Man. Of course, this lead to revelry and reminiscence of high school musicals, which *grumble* lead Teri and Johanna singing a musical medley. Anywho! Anytime, I hear the word "Shibui" I think of "Shipoopi". *bangs head on desk* MAKE IT STOP! LAWD GEEZUS!

At McAlliser's, I had a chance to dejeuner (eat lunch) with "Irish Iris" and pals from the Yahoo! Kansas Knits group.

After lunch we high tailed over to the Wichita High School East to queue up before the show.
Driving up to the high school, we encountered a man standing around outside the main doors, Teri stopped and rolled down the window to inquire about the show. YES! My opportunity to hop out and haul @ss to get in line. I had already bellowed to the other girls to follow, but *shrug* they stayed in the van and parked with Teri. *evil laugh* SUCKERS! hehehe! I know better. Always bet on Black, baby! As luck would have it we arrived JUST BEFORE the deluge. I managed to secure a spot towards the front of the queue. There might have been 20 ladies ahead of me. The girls weren't too far behind me. We were about an hour early.

The little girl was enamored of this sign because it has yarn on it. *sigh*

So now, we wait and we knit. Shortly before the show began, we moved upstairs outside the auditorium. Once again, I'm in good position to secure rock star seating. *sheepish grin* The girls are not far behind.

The doors open, I got my ticket stamped. I'll be #19 to get my book signed after the show. SWEET! I barrel down the isle to the front of the auditorium and secure us some kick @ss seats smack dab in the middle. We were a little squished and those old auditorium seats ain't exactly fat booty friendly, but d@mmit we made it work.

I had no real expectation for what kind of speaker/performer Stephanie would be. I had no idea what to expect. Promptly at 3:00 PM CST, she appeared. Awww...she's so cute. She's very petite and was barely visible over the podium as she began her spiel about CHOKE folk. She was delightfully funny and I found myself nodding, smirking, smiling, reflecting, agreeing and laughing. Hmmm...I like her. Of course, the rest of the posse was beside themselves with laughter. I even heard Teri snort a few times. *eyebrow raised* Alrighty then. The show was a roaring success and it was time for the book signing. Standing up, getting ready to queue up for the book signing, I hear a faint murmur from the little girl next to me. Johanna had to go potty and no one was moving to let her pass. "ALRIGHT PEOPLE MAKE A HOLE! MOVE IT! MOVE IT!" That did it and the little girl was off to go potty. :)

Standing in line, looking around, I noticed that I was the only person of color in the whole d@mn place. LOL! TYPICAL, I thought. I figured this was some kind of anomaly like seeing a Yeti or the Loch Ness Monster or a shooting star. I felt it was a strange event that had to be chronicled. I had to have my picture taken with the Yarn Harlot as evidence that I had, actually, been there. I thought, "HEY! I'm probably the first Black woman in the state of Kansas and/or Missouri...maybe even the entire USA to met the Yarn Harlot!" At least, that is what I wanted to think. *ehem* :)

So, I got to meet Stephanie and I said, "Uh? Can I take a picture with you? I mean how often do you meet a Black female knitter in Kansas, right?" She smiled and obliged and I even got to hold the SOCK! I've heard tales of the traveling sock and here I get to hold it and everything. *cheese*

After the obligatory paparazzi photo shoot of my knitter posse,

Johanna wanted to go back Twist for more yarn. *shrug* What the heck! YES!!!!!!!!!! We love the Twist.

Back at Twist, we congregated and knit at our own little table and somehow the conversation turned to yarn shop prostitution. Some time ago, Johanna decided to bestow the title, "Gear ho" upon me. Then, that morphed into me being a "Yarn Ho" and Amber being my "Yarn Pimp" to which I replied, "Yeah uh, can I be your bottom b!tch?" (In pimp speak, that means main or favorite girl) Brandi almost fell off her chair and Amber looked at me and snortled, "GIRL! You are so crazy!" YEAH BOY! hehehe.

One of the local Wichita knitters had the great idea to order in pizza for dinner. We all chipped in $4.00. As is apt to happen, the pizza order was messed up and not everyone got to eat. :( Fortunately, I wanted a couple slices of supreme and that's the one that no one really wanted anyway. YES! *ehem* Shelley kept the shop open until 8 PM and we managed to leave around 7:30 on our way back home.

It was a good day, indeed. We had so much fun and met so many great people and now, I'm a Yarn Harlot Ho to boot.