I have been fluffy for my entire life. It dawned on me today that for as long as I can remember I have been on a diet and exercising just to keep my head above the proverbial water. Every so often, I stop treading water and let myself sink to new depths before something in my brain kicks in and causes me to kick again and head towards the surface.
About 3 weeks ago, I started kicking back to the surface again. This time I have enlisted yet another personal trainer 'iRise' who visits me at home and I have specialized weight loss meals 'Success Meals KC' delivered to my home during the week so that I don't even have to think about what to eat. So far, I have managed to shed an inch or so and a couple pounds, but I'm struggling with the same ole same ole. CARDIO!
I have got to figure out a way to pry myself away from my work and consequently the sofa to do my freaking cardio. I even have my Tony Little Gazelle set up in my living room now right in front of the tv and I struggle to get on it. Work has been crazy and I have, literally, been working 18 hour days for long stretches here lately, so whenever I get a free moment, I'm sleep.
I hate being this size again, so I am going to have to dig deep and kick harder to the surface now. Gotta do it better. May have to enlist my friends and family to text and call me to motivate me to get off my @ss and walk around the block a few times. Gotta keep kicking for as long as I can kick.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Death and Dying in Babylon
The image of Dora Mae's naked body standing in front of the saloon window staring blankly out on to the street outside then suddenly being grabbed from behind by a man's dirty, ragged arm and dragged back into what could only be some fresh hell of savage debauchery. The imagery was haunting and frightening. For years, this imagery has resonated in my mind and influenced my notions on death and dying for some years now. That if you don't die well, that you can be trapped for eternity in a never ending hellish nightmare. STUCK! Just like Dora Mae the ONLY GIRL in a town full of lascivious, barbaric miners, sexually used and abused by them...day and night with no hope for escape or salvation.
It has been approximately 6 years since I first witnessed that scene, but the residue of it was still there. I had to see it again, so I rented the HBO Carnivale series and began to re-watch it again. Seeing the Babylon and Pick A Number episodes last night, brought some additional insight to me.
Babylon begins with the following quote "...And on her forehead, a name was written, a mystery. 'Babylon the great, the mother of harlots and of the abominations of the earth..."
During the course of this episode, Dora Mae makes it clear that she enjoys being a "cooch" dancer in the family Gay Paree carnival show. While Ben was working outside one day, Dora Mae approaches him reveals that one of her breasts is larger than the other, then draws in closer to him and offers a kiss. Later in the Babylon episode, exposing her plump, naked body to the miners during the Carnival "Cooch" show "blow off", a tent full of hardened miners are aroused into a frenzy and began to claw and clutch at Dora and began to drag her off the stage. She managed to escape, but not for long. Later that night, Dora Mae is murdered in Babylon. We find out in the "Pick a Number" episode that she was murdered so that her soul will be "stuck" in Babylon along with the miners' souls to provide comfort and company to the men.
I found it interesting that they chose Dora Mae over her sister, Libby. Dora was ample breasted and plump while Libby thin and flat chested. Both equally salacious during the night's cooch dance, but they chose to murder the plump one. Interesting.
After watching Pick A Number again last night, the allegory of the entire episode and for that matter the entire series began to make sense to me. DUH! The mining town of Babylon is HELL. Dora Mae was condemned and suffered the consequences of her actions and had been sentenced to an eternity of doing the very thing she revered so much in life. Still doesn't do much to dispel my notions about not dying well. I'm still struggling with that.
It has been approximately 6 years since I first witnessed that scene, but the residue of it was still there. I had to see it again, so I rented the HBO Carnivale series and began to re-watch it again. Seeing the Babylon and Pick A Number episodes last night, brought some additional insight to me.
Babylon begins with the following quote "...And on her forehead, a name was written, a mystery. 'Babylon the great, the mother of harlots and of the abominations of the earth..."
During the course of this episode, Dora Mae makes it clear that she enjoys being a "cooch" dancer in the family Gay Paree carnival show. While Ben was working outside one day, Dora Mae approaches him reveals that one of her breasts is larger than the other, then draws in closer to him and offers a kiss. Later in the Babylon episode, exposing her plump, naked body to the miners during the Carnival "Cooch" show "blow off", a tent full of hardened miners are aroused into a frenzy and began to claw and clutch at Dora and began to drag her off the stage. She managed to escape, but not for long. Later that night, Dora Mae is murdered in Babylon. We find out in the "Pick a Number" episode that she was murdered so that her soul will be "stuck" in Babylon along with the miners' souls to provide comfort and company to the men.
I found it interesting that they chose Dora Mae over her sister, Libby. Dora was ample breasted and plump while Libby thin and flat chested. Both equally salacious during the night's cooch dance, but they chose to murder the plump one. Interesting.
After watching Pick A Number again last night, the allegory of the entire episode and for that matter the entire series began to make sense to me. DUH! The mining town of Babylon is HELL. Dora Mae was condemned and suffered the consequences of her actions and had been sentenced to an eternity of doing the very thing she revered so much in life. Still doesn't do much to dispel my notions about not dying well. I'm still struggling with that.
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