Back To Food Rehab Again...

As I sit here and watch the TLC Channel's "I Eat 33,000 Calories A Day" and "Inside Brookhaven Obesity Clinic" documentary series, I am sickened and saddened at the state of the food addicts depicted on the show because I fear that one day I might become housebound, trapped by my own weight.

Friday, I paid a visit to Dr. Monica Pierson to begin my latest weight lost quest. As I sit here and type, I'm angry. I'm pissed that I am faced with the prospect of fighting with myself for the rest of my life. I'm addicted to food and I have to eat. Here I go again, losing weight. Trying to put the scales back in balance again. Fighting with myself. Struggling not to become one of the people depicted on today's show.

Dr. Monica quelled many of my frustrations and made me feel at ease. That I could actually lose weight and make the changes necessary to CHANGE and MANAGE my food intake for the rest of my life. She gave me a reasonable weight loss goal. *gasp* I was all prepared for her to tell me I needed to lose 150 lbs. instead she reminded me that it was more important to attain a healthier weight and that all I really needed to lose was 75 lbs. It was then that I realized that I wasn't 19 anymore. That as we age, we need to give ourselves some slack and recognize that we will NEVER look like we did when we were young again. I felt a sense of relief when she told me that losing 75lbs would work. That gave me so much inspiration and motivation. I feel like I'm not setting myself up to fail. Like I can really do this.

She reminded me that even though I'm a food addict, that I'm one of the survivors. I haven't given up on myself and continue to do the things necessary to manage my health. We agreed that even though I've had a gastric bypass that surgery wasn't the answer. When you are a food addict, not even having a stomach the size of a walnut can prevent you from getting your fix. You'll figure out a way to defeat it.

Dr. Monica is a recovering food addict herself. She takes great care in how she manages her patients. She carefully reviewed my blood work. Fortunately for me, my blood work is virtually perfect and despite my most recent weight gain. February 2001, I was diagnosed with Type II diabetes. Shorty after having my gastric bypass, my blood sugar normalized and my Type II diabetes went away. So far, I've continued to stave off diabetes and heart problems. Dr. Monica explained just how deadly diabetes really is and why it is vitally important to manage your blood glucose. It was then, that I realized what was wrong with my mom during our visit over Mother's Day. Her diabetes has gotten worse and it appears that it is affecting her heart and blood vessels. Dr. Monica explained that due to the long history of diabetes in my family, it's only a matter of time before my diabetes returns, but with proper diet and exercise, I should be able to postpone it much longer...perhaps until I'm in my late 60s or 70s. Maybe I'll never develop Type II diabetes again. God Willing.

During my consultation, Dr. Monica asked me to commit to a goal for the week. I committed to throwing out all my comfort foods and my goal is to drink at least 40 oz. of water each day. I like the fact that Dr. Monica pays such close attention and has such a great memory and devotion to her patients. I'm looking forward to my stint in food rehab this time, especially since all my clothes are too tight and I feel really fat and unattractive right now.

Tomorrow is the first day of a new journey.