OK! It's official. I love me some Christopher "Big Black" Boykins. He is HILARIOUS!
If you haven't seen this show already...because they replay it every 15 minutes on MTV...you might want to check it out just to see my hommie Big Black the Bodyguard.
In this week's episode, under pressure from Rob to become a lean, mean fighting machine, Big Black agrees to a "Commitment to Fitness". I have to give it to Big Black I can definately relate to a brotha's struggle to lose some weight.
First, poor Big was reduced to visiting the Burbank Recycling Center's scale to see how much he weighs after maxing out the scale at the local Curves franchise. Big Black is 6'6" 416 of solid Black beautiful love. :) Then, off to the hypnotist to kick start his commitment and let his subconscious know he's ready to kick ass.
Then, to the lovely "Erin Naimi, RD" the best damn nutritionist EVER! I love this woman.
YES! She understands the mind of the food addict. She knows that starvation and repression doesn't work for us. She's all about portion control and learning to stop eating when your stomach is full. Favoring the pre-portioning approach. She only asks Big Black to workout 2 times a week to start. I love how she put Rob in check for trying to tell her how to do her job when he objects to her plan for Big Black. Rob prefers a more stark, boot camp starvation approach. After the nutritionist, they are off to the local bike shop to find Big Black a bike fit for a man of this stature.
After 3 weeks of hardwork, Rob and Black return to the recycling center only to find that Black hasn't lost a single pound. Determined, Black returns to his nutritionist for inspiration. He's convinced she holds the key to his success.
Upon arrival at Ms. Naimi's office, Erin asks where Rob was and Black replies "Yeah, I had to leave him behind you can't bring skinny people when you go see a nutritionist." Erin encourages Black and reassures him that he is doing a great job and tells him he can even have a burger to celebrate his dedication over the past 3 weeks.
After his session with Erin, Black goes to get his favorite burger. Arriving at home, Rob inquires about his session with Erin. Black says, "She told me no more scales. Don't get on another scale again....Yes, I love that woman! I knew there was something I loved about her. That woman is down with the big people. She knows how struggle it is to get a burger in your systems. It's tough and that's why I love her so much."
Here are some of my favorite Big Blackisms, thus far:
"Let's do work, son!"
"MAKE IT HOT!"
"Even when I fart outside, it comes back in"
"My arms are like my rims...22s"
"Having a big ass is definately a plus..."
I had to laugh myself when I heard him say "she's down with the big people."
ReplyDeleteThat was funny.