Joe The Bully Is Crankier

'nother funny story. I meant to tell some of the girls at UFO Wednesday last night, but I didn't get around to it.

As many of you know, I'm currently enrolled in a conversational Mandarin class at a local community college. I absolutely love learning new languages and am falling in love with Mandarin and Chinese culture, right now. So, as luck would have it, we have a class bully named "Joe" who is engaged to be married to a young mainland China Chinese lady. Yes, you guessed it, they met online. Ever since class began back in January, Joe has been GUSHING about his future bride, so much so, that EVERYONE in the class is sick of hearing about her and his recent trip to China to meet her and her family for the first time. Joe is in his early 20s, your average Joe. He's not very attractive AND not very smart. From his demeanor, Joe comes off as a control freak and a hot head who HATES to be wrong. He's got chunks of gray hair already from all the stress and rage. Anywho, Joe is young, dumb and in love. From the looks of things, I can safely assume that he isn't very savvy about love and relationships. He doesn't strike me as the type of guy that women fall all over themselves to be with, so whenever he's able to snare a woman online and things escalate to a real life encounter, he's all in. I'm guessing these two haven't known each other very long, maybe a few months to a year and they're ready to get married, so that he can lock this girl in for life, right? :: hmph ::

Joe is the class know it all and seems to enjoy flaunting his "superior first hand" knowledge of Chinese culture and Mandarin Chinese. Our honorable teacher or (lao shi), Jackie immigrated to the US from Taiwan some years ago and is, of course, is fluent in Mandarin. I trust our teacher. She's a great instructor, but for some odd reason, Joe seems to challenge her CONSTANTLY! What a DOUCHEBAG! Generally, I'm a pretty outgoing, talkative person, but when I'm in a situation where I know NOTHING, I tend to just shut the hell up and let the expert do all the talking. During class, I sit quietly in the back of the room and absorb everything I can, taking notes and asking questions when warranted. Not Joe. Oh No. He's got to sit at the very front of the class and interject his personal opinions and experiences ALL FREAKIN' CLASS LONG! :: ARGH ::

One time, Joe was arguing with one of the students in our class, a German immigrant fluent in German about some German grammar/syntax. Joe insisted that he was correct, but fortunately, she stood up to him and basically told him he's wrong and that she should know since she speaks German as her first language. :: smirk ::
I looked over at her and smiled and gave her a virtual high five. LOL! Take that!

After a brief hiatus, our classes resumed this past Tuesday night and there were only 3 students in the class. Me, Joe and Louise. Of course, Joe monopolized the ENTIRE class. He started out offering to show our teacher (lao shi) some emails from his girlfriend. I looked over at Louise and rolled my eyes and she smiled. After class, Joe announced that he and his fiancee had set a date and that he couldn't wait to get married. They had set a date sometime in 2009. He explained to Jackie that his fiancee had to consult the Chinese version of the Farmer's Almanac/Astrology Horoscope to ensure they had chosen a lucky day to get married. Curiosity got the best of me and I asked Joe if he had consulted with an immigration attorney about getting his wife into the country after they got married in China. Joe quickly snipped that he doesn't need an immigration attorney because they are getting married and that his wife would automatically be a US citizen and he could bring her back to the states and live happily ever after. I, taking pleasure in his increasing level of frustration, went on to explain that simply because you get married, doesn't guarantee citizenship and there were going to be some hurdles they'd have to jump before she could even apply for full citizenship and re-iterated that he should consult an immigration attorney before he got married in China. Joe didn't like that. He was annoyed. On his way out the door he mentioned that he couldn't wait for the new President to take office. I informed him that a change in Presidency doesn't always mean a change in department policy, i.e. Department of Homeland Security isn't going to change its immigration/citizenship policies overnight with the election of a new President. Joe had heard enough and swiftly walked away. I had hit a nerve. PAYDIRT! The prospect of life not turning out EXACTLY the way he envisions it is unnerving to Joe. He can't control bureaucracy and its going to mess up his whole pretty plan. :: scoff :: :: sly smirk ::

Leaving the classroom, Jackie joked that maybe Joe's fiancee' should teach him Chinese and that she was tired of Joe challenging her and that she had consulted with her teaching adviser on the issue. Joe is getting under her skin and she's at a loss for what to do. I assured her that she's not the only one who is tired of Joe and his constant challenges. Personally, I'm not going to let him intimidate me. I'll go toe to toe with the skinny bastard. BRING IT ON! I love mashing his buttons. :: evil grin ::