If you're like me you always wanted to find that "one" love of a lifetime where you fall head over heels for each other, have a wildly passionate love affair, get married and live happily ever after. Maybe you are one of the lucky ones and you DID find the love of your life and you ARE living the dream.
But, what about the rest of us? I used to cry and rail about love and my broken heart and how I didn't ever think I would find love, but at the end of the day it seems I wasn't emotionally aware to realize that I was the root cause for my lack of love.
For the past couple months since meeting Darren, I have been undergoing a rapid metamorphosis into love. When presented with someone who gets me, who accepts me, who cares about me, who supports me, who loves me what do I do?
FREAK OUT! That's what.
It's amazing the things I have done to shun, spurn and rebuke love out of complete unawareness. I shoved and pushed and proded it away from me much like one would a soiled diaper or a dead carcus, but why? Upon further introspection and counseling, I found that because I felt I was unworthy of love and that I had never really been loved that I was incapable of allowing myself to be loved and had been sabotaging any and all attempts to get at love or for love to get to me.
Now, that I am aware of that old behavior, I have been working very fervently at allowing myself to receive love and really really let it seep into my soul and meld within me. As crazy as it may seem, it's easier said than done and its quite painful actually, but I'm doing the necessary work so that I can grow and develop as a person and transform that fairy tale notion of love into reality so that I, too, can live happily ever after with the man that I hold so dear. Darren.
I LOVE YOU!
awww
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