THUNDERSTRUCK!

:: puzzled look ::

Uh?

:: pregnant pause ::

I'm still reeling from all the love and attention I've gotten over the past 24 hours over at Ravelry.

:: sniffle ::

WOW! That came out of nowhere as a very pleasant surprise. A much needed pleasant surprise.

You see, I've been bee bopping around Ravelry these past couple weeks trying to liven the place up a bit. Things had gotten quite rank and dreary for a while. There seemed to be a myriad of drama laden, mean spirited threads popping up in the main arena and the tone of the site, it seemed, had taken a turn for the worse. I could tell the rancor was taking a huge toll on the creators of the site and I took it upon myself, as did others, to just do fun, goofy stuff to lighten the mood and maybe steer things in a more positive direction. Well, wouldn't you know it, it freakin' worked! YAY! We started fun threads and groups for those of us who like cute, happy things and before you knew it people were happy again and spreading good will, cheer and love all over the place.

So, I logon to Ravelry last night and my inbox was full of "Are your ears buring? You've been magic linked" messages and click...there's this thead titled "Dulcedosa" and I'm like "WUH?".

I couldn't believe how much of an impact I had had on people with just my goofy ole cheesy ole Ravatar and some crazy silly posts. Some people may think that I'm an attention whore, but I'm really not. HONEST! Most of the time, I'm just kinda doing my own thing and trying to stay out of the limelight. Notice, I said "trying". I just kinda bee bop and do my thing and people, for whatever reasons, take notice. I, honestly, can't help myself from commenting and participating in the forums on Ravelry. I'm a chatterbox. Yep, I'm the same way in real life as what you read on my blog and in my posts. No fakery here....just cakery. LOL! :: ehem! :: I love cake, ok.

My stomach is a little in knots over having my own thread. I'm kinda freaked out about it, actually, but reading the nice things people have to say about me and the impact I've had on them is amazing and humbling and makes me glad to be alive. Hard to believe that some years ago, I had prepared a suicide email and was really ready to just die. That's not something I talk about ever, but I want to put into perspective how much that one little thread means to me. You never know when that one kind word or smile will tip the scale in someone's favor and they decide to stick around a little longer. My close friends and family know I have a lot on my plate these days. My mom is dying (congestive heart failure), they just announced yet another round of layoffs AGAIN, even though I make a very nice salary, I'm to the point now that I can pay my mortgage, utilities, basic living expenses and the rest goes to my mom who can't work now, so credit card bills are on the back burner and I'm faced with some hard decisions. Anywho, despite all that, I still put a smile on my face and bumble about. I don't believe in throwing a pity party. I'm the type that will suck it up and keep moving. Besides, no one really wants to hear sad news because we all have sad stories, but once again, I'm laying it all out there for you today. One of those rare occasions when I feel safe enough to be vulnerable and share the fleshy parts of myself.

But, I do do (hehehe! Yep, I said DoDo) little things to cheer myself up like taking my Mandarin Chinese courses, knitting, hoarding yarn, rambling on Ravelry. Sometimes, its all I can do to get out of bed, but I do it because I have to...Miss Kitty won't let me sleep in past 8 AM anyway. Heifa likes to have her kibble in her bowl promptly. But, being a part of Ravelry is a bright spot in my life. It truly makes me happy to be a part of the Ravelry community and I cherish every moment I spend there.

I know I've said it time and time again, but many heartfelt thanks to everyone at Ravelry, most especially Casey, Jess, Mary-Heather, Bob, Thom and the whole Freckle family.

God Bless You All.

Anywho, much love to all of you who, for some reason, care enough to keep up with me.
God Bless You.