Stitches Midwest 2007: Day Three - FRENZY

Saturday, August 11, 2007

My first class of the day was 307-3 Complete From The Neck Down with Barry Klein of Trendsetter Yarns. The class was relatively easy to follow along. Shout out to my friends, Elissa and Lois. We made a sample sized classic raglan sweater from the top down. LOVE IT! Now, I want to cast on for a baby sweater for Ashanti's new baby girl (Alyvia) that's due in October.



Next, I caught up with the girls had a quick lunch followed by more market browsing.
During lunch, I remarked how fascinated I had become with our comic book brethren across the way. Knitters and Comic Book fanatics! Who Knew!? Sometimes, I like to play little scavenger hunt type games and I thought it would be cool if I "collected" photos of myself with people at the convention who were dressed up. But, not just any costume. I wanted studio quality. As luck would have it, just as we left the market place after lunch on our way to class, Gwenie Gwen and I encountered a big, green warthog with a hatchet. YEAH! I asked Gwenie Gwen if she would snap my picture with the warthog man, she was having none of that and left me to fend for myself. So, I politely asked the warthog if he would pose for a picture with me.

SEE!

My afternoon class was 512-3 The Long & Short of Knitting Alterations with Margaret Fisher.

*ugh* I look like a lumbering ox standing next to this lady. GEEZ!
This was an interesting, yet frustrating class since the bulk of the class centered around grafting. In particular, using the dreaded KITCHENER stitch. I had no problem with the first portion of the class where we learned how cut into a swatch horizontally and put the top and bottom half the swatch back on the needles to lengthen it. But, for some reason, I could not follow along when we had to kitchener our sample back together on the needles. *GRUMBLE* After some wrangling, I did manage to get a couple stitches correct using the off the needle kitchener. *sigh*

After classes were done, we had dinner and martinis across the street at the Doubletree. Finally, a chance to unwind, eat, drink and dish. After dinner, we decided we weren't quite ready to pack it in for the night and head back to our hotel to knit at the hotel lobby bar. This is where the fun begins...

Once back at our hotel, I headed straight for the bar while the girls went up stairs to put their stuff away, etc. Approaching the bar, I spotted a moderately hot looking guy. I figure what the heck and I struck up some small talk with him and find out he's an orthopedic sales representative in town for conference with his peers. After a few minutes, the girls join me at the bar and we settle in at a table perfectly situated to see everyone coming and going off the elevator and a view of the bar itself.

After we settle in, Suzie presents me with a lonely green monster leg that someone had left on the elevator. *gasp* "GEEZ! One of these comiconer guys is probably freaking out that his articulated green monster leg is gone!" No doubt one of his friends took it as a joke and here we sit with this lonely pitiful little leg. *awww* Gwen suggested that I use the monster foot as a display for one of the Saartje's Bootees I had just completed to which I replied, "Yeah, I can put my booty on his leg!" LOL! *snort* It was, also, a show of solidarity. The fusion of knitting and action figures. *shrug* GI Joe needs socks, too, dagnabit.

Earlier, I spotted a pot bellied 60something year old man trolling the bar. I call him "Clifford The Big Red Dog". Why? He had on a red polo shirt and his whole bald head was red and he looked like he was up to no good! After pointing him out to the girls, Gwen commented that he probably has high blood pressure and that's why is head is red or maybe he got too much sun or both. Anyway! Clifford is pacing back and forth at the bar talking on his cellphone. *shrug* ok. Then, a couple of white collar married guy types come down off the elevator and head to the bar with a very pretty, teeny tiny Asian woman in betwixt them. I could tell that she probably wasn't a coworker. My spidey senses said she's an ESCORT! HMMMM! She was dressed in a VERY REVEALING t!t hugging tiny little shirt with a plunging neckline, tight jeans, and those really tall hooker shoes. GOOD LAWD GIRL! Your t!ts are bigger than your whole head. *eyeroll* The threesome sit at the bar, drink and chatted for a while, then Madame Butterfly decided she's a little undressed (judging by all the gasps and pointing) and slips back upstairs for a wardrobe change.

Meanwhile, another pole dancer proceeds to stride through towards the bar where she joins Clifford! This woman was very attractive and very young...I'd say early 20s. She has a very Eastern European look about her, I'll call her Svetlana. I could only surmise that Clifford had called one of those "escort" services for some late night company while he was pacing back and forth. Svetlana and Clifford sat at the bar and chatted for quite some time. I figured Clifford needed some time for his Viagra to kick in before taking Svetlana upstairs to his room.
Now, Madame Butterfly re-emerges to join her married male duo. This time wearing a less revealing BeBe shirt. *eyeroll* A while later, the MFM threesome had finished their drinks and were headed back upstairs. On the way to the elevator, I noticed a certain aire about the men. A swagger. A "I'm gonna tear that @ss up" swagger. HMPH! Who knew that these things go on in the suburbs. I thought about these married, traveling business men with their escorts and how their wife probably has NO CLUE. She holding down the fort at home while he gets his "happy ending" on the road. *shakes head* After what seems like an hour or so, Clifford and Svetlana are STILL at the bar. The rancor was rising. I saw a couple people at the bar making "money exchange" gestures at each other about the diabolical duo right in front of their faces. As the night wore on, the rancor and clamor started to get a bit high and I gestured to the girls that it was time to go. I had a bad feeling...like something was going to jump off at that bar soon and we didn't want to be anywhere near it when the bomb dropped. LOL! But, before retiring to our room, I wanted to make sure that the lonely monster leg found his rightful body. Did I mention that the toes even articulate? You can bend 'em backwards and everything! *ehem* I handed the leg over to the front desk with strict instructions about his care and wellbeing. *sniffle* I hope he found his body.

As we settled into our room and began to pack, I started to panic a bit thinking that I wouldn't have enough room in my suitcase for my yarn haul. I began thinking about what I could leave behind. Of course, Gwenie Gwen had it all figured out and gave me some hints on packing. I got it all squished in and ready to go, but not before I took a picture of my entire haul.